If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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