yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
