seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
