I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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