you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just cut my nipple shaving
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
