that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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