whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
