Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
