I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
