What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
