So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Girls should come with a carfax report
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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