I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
