BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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