We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
