and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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