omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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