I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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