I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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