laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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