My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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