Cold hands, warm shart.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
