Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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