Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
