He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
