p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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