she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
