Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize