she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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