So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
