Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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