Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
