When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will