Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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