I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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