The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?