You work out of a Hotel?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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