SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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