Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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