considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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