i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
