If i come over, it means nothing
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
