So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
