oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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