just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
