I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
