Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
