Already got asked if we're dating
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
