Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
