Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
