If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize