there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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