I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
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I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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