if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
