i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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