I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
