i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize