Whod you bang
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
