Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
