dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
