Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
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I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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