I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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