You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
