Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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